Dear Mikey,
I went to the Zac Brown concert last night! It was amazing! They performed many of the songs I know you loved including Chicken Fried. I bawled the whole time. I cried through most of the concert actually. I thought going to the concert was a great idea since I love them so much but today I'm not so sure that was a great idea. It made me miss you terribly. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss you. Not one day. I've become a rock star at hiding my pain over your death. However, that concert made it impossible to hide. My heart hurts. I couldn't help but want to call you and send you videos throughout the concert because I knew you would appreciate it as much as me. I can't though. You're not here. You'll never be, either. I didn't realize how connected we are to our siblings until you died. Why? Cause when you died apparently a part of me did as well. I would give anything to have you back. I would give anything to have been able to talk to you that night on May 10th and tell you that whatever it was that was hurting to the point of taking your own life....would pass. Everything would have been OK. I can't imagine how horrible you must have felt that night. It haunts me. It makes me sick. I wish something or someone could have stopped you from making that horrible decision. You are missing so much. I could go on forever on all the things that you've missed since you left. Most importantly though, your son. He'll never really know you. Only stories. That's such a shame. I can't wait to see you again some day. I have so many questions to ask you. Most importantly, I need a big hug from you. Until then, I will just miss you. I will continue to wonder what you would have looked like now. Continue to wonder where you would be in life. Continue to miss your letters when you were in training. Continue to miss your frequent phone calls. I will continue to miss my brother. I love you. I always have and I always will!
Love,
Shelly
